Another Day

I wish I had the time to write because I have had so many things going that I really want to talk about but I am swamped. I barely have enough time to sleep which is not new to anyone who reads my blog.
The kids have really grown up this year. I am lucky in the sense that they are so independent. I am going to be one of those moms that knows that her kids are ok when they finally head off to college. I just wish I had more time to spend with them today but life has a way of playing with our priorities.
My mother-in-law has been staying with us for about 4 months and in addition to the store, the kids, and teaching, I am also writing again. It's a great feeling to get stuff down on paper...even greater when I get published. My first Article was published in Race-Talk Magazine during the Tunisian uprising. I got wonderful feedback on it and it has really given me a boost to keep working.
I have always wanted to do a thousand things when I grew up. I guess now I can say I am doing it. I am blessed, I say this every single day and I feel it every single second. I know I have a really rough life, but I know I would not want it any other way.
I will be married 10 years this October. Osama and I are either going to renew our vows here in Houston or in Italy. It's been so long since we have been able to go anywhere, away, one on one. The only thing we ever get out to do nowadays is attend comedy shows. We saw Arabs Gone Wild and Maz Jobrani recently and they were both amazing shows.
Jeneane is preparing for the college program she attends in the summer. This year she is studying Algebra II. This means that she walks into her sophomore year with all her math credits. She was also invited to attend a program at George Mason University but we can't afford it.
Afif is a little boy scout. He helps open the doors for his grandmas, he takes out the trash, snuggles with me....one day this boy is going to make an amazingly loving husband.
Now, I have to go catch up on my "words with friends" scrabble game.....

A Month Off For Mommy!

I am exhausted! For the past week I have been debilitated and bedridden. The schedule I have been trying to maintain has finally caught up with me. Two teaching jobs, a full time business owner, a full time mommy, and wife...and I am pooped.

Everyone kept telling me that the grueling schedule was not going to last but I didn't listen because Osama and I are in a crossroad in our life. He is also working way too much....gone Monday through Friday....week after week.

Finally, I got sick. I was so sick I literally could not get out of bed to even use the restroom or eat. Everything hurt, ached, I was sick to my stomach and it felt like a bad case of the flu. I slept about 18 hours of every day for a few days before I could get up and start moving again. It really scared me.

The problem is that once you fall everything around you starts to fall along with you. The kids depend on me to pick them up and get them to their activities, make their meals, and take care of their every whim. Osama depends on me to set up his business logistics and plan his schedule ahead. The store needs me to maintain purchases and the books...that is not to mention the hours I put in actually working the floor. Then when I get done, I run home to make sure everything is clean, the kids get their homework done, and I start grading papers and getting my own teaching work out of the way. I honestly just can't do it any longer. I took a leave of absence for a month from teaching.

I don't know if it is going to help. It is only a month but I really need it. The last time I had a day off was July 13. I am just so behind and I need a breather. I don't even know what this month is going to do but my doctor said that if I don't slow down then my U.C. is going to flare and that frightened me back to reality. So, here is to a month off....I honestly can't wait.

Oh, and I've been invited to write for an online magazine. Not sure if I want to do it yet. I've had writer's block....but I will keep you all updated!

Jeneane has been published!!!!

Last night Jeneane runs down the stairs screaming "MOM" at the top of her lungs. My heart dropped thinking that something had happened. It did! She was published on the "This I believe" website, her essay chosen as one worth publishing.

I spent the entire night dreaming about her future....
Please God take care of her, light her way, bless her with opportunity and the courage to work through the elements of life.

I can't express what this feels like....I can't express what this means to her and in turn to me. I am watching her blossom. I am watching her take her baby steps through the world every day and my heart swells with pride.

Here is the site, please share it so that she may be chosen as a finalist.

http://thisibelieve.org/essay/84510/

Bab El Hara

The phenomenon of Bab El Hara is not new. Like everyone else I know, I am glued to the TV as soon as it starts to the second it ends. I cheer, I cry, I lament on the days where men were actually that, men.

What I don't like is the way women are portrayed in this show. As far as what we see, they are born, raised, marry, and then die between 4 walls and under a man's rule. Last night's episode was no different except that something inside me broke. At one point, one of the characters who is married to a doctor, and gets to travel from one home to another with him,is admired by a couple of young ladies and told that they wished they could share her freedom.



My heart broke. I didn't live 80 years ago in Syria to better understand the customs but I do understand that the men wished to protect the women in their families from the then French rulers who seemed to abuse their power. Honor was everything.

But that is not just it. In one scene a husband returns a wife to her family home as an act of revenge because his sister was returned to her family home for not being a good wife. The husband comes to apologize and the young lady refuses to return with him stating, "I am not a toy that you take when you want and return when you are feeling vengeful." Her mother then walks in yelling at her and orders her to pack and return with her husband.

Where is this woman's dignity? Where is her sense of self and self respect? Why are women treated with such indignity? Better yet, why am I still watching?

In this day and age we crave some of the qualities that these men portray. We miss the masculinity of men, their sense of honor, respect for their fellow man and neighbor, the recognition that we are our brother's keeper. I love that they help the needy and hold a sense of pride in their community. I love that they don't let the unjust ruler get away with their obvious abuses. Above everything else, I love the simplicity of life that seems to be the constant thread that unites these people.

To be honest I don't think I will stop watching the show. I am addicted to the story line and obsessed with the idea that we, as Arabs, once stood united against our oppressors, a far cry from what we see today. That said, I still wish that the writers of the show took the time to invest in their obvious success providing a story line that demonstrates the strength of these women, their loyalty to their homes, and their love and sacrifice for their country.

Mommy, when can I start dating??

SAY WHAT?? Yes, that was my reaction!

I almost fell over dead when Jeneane asked me that yesterday and I spent a night of rolling all over the place, sweaty, nervous, and on the verge of throwing up.

What do you mean by "dating"?

You know, "dating".

No,I actually don't.

Well, I never thought I would hear those words at 13! I tried so hard to explain to her that when she meets the right man, that she wants to spend the rest of her life with, that she can date him. I was babbling and I don't remember the rest of the conversation. Am I in denial? I started shaking and wanted to run to A&M to pick her up and Osama had to calm me down. He said he'll pick her up on Saturday and talk to her. If she understands we'll be home by noon....if she doesn't I'll just bury her somewhere on the way home and be back by 3, he joked.

I'm glad he thinks its funny but I am a BIG MESS! My daughter is growing up and I am not prepared for this. For heavens sake she was in an Islamic school for about 3 years! You know it's a good school when its put on the terrorism watch list...lol

I don't know if maybe this whole college thing is making her think she is older than what she is. Some of her friends are like 17 and some are even older! I know she is maturing quickly. I can talk to her about anything....well, anything but that and I am not sure how I am going to talk to her anymore now that THAT is in the way.

Feel free to submit advise....even anonymously. I can use all the help you have to offer!!!

This I Believe by Jeneane Amin

The "This I believe" NPR contest has taken place for many years. Some of the most famous writers have submitted entries but I was thrilled to see that Jeneane is entering the contest this year. This is her entry:

Jeneane Amin
7/21/10

I Believe in Peter Pan
Peter Pan. The source of all childish beliefs like pixies, flying ships, and a boy that never grows up. Never growing, never dying. Just saying his name makes you smile. From the day the Author, JM Barrie, wrote Peter Pan, he gave people, young and old all different hopes.
You can look at movies, especially newer ones, and see how some who have been touched by him see. This is all his work. Peter is in everything, and if you look close enough you’ll always find him. Peter has taken what little we saw, and opened our eyes to the creativity. Then, and only then, do we see the pixies. Younger people, who were blessed with that broader perspective, sit and think; they then turn into adults who make things like books, movies, music and art of all kind. Even if they don’t accomplish these actions, Peter will pass on the child-like hopes to their children.
My mom helped provide this hope. She would tell me stories about how she used to hang out with Peter. They would glue Hook’s toes together, and blast fireworks on the ships. Sometimes she would tell me that Tinker Bell snuggled with me one night, or maybe my mom would come into my room and see a trail of silver pixie dust left behind.
Once I could’ve sworn I saw the shadow of a flying boy out my window. My mom told me it was Peter and that he had dropped me back off after spending the night in Neverland. After that I was sure that Peter Pan was real. When I was bored I would think about him taking me away, my imagination running wild, as it still does today.
It was a sleepy day and my head was resting on my arms. What could anyone do, but start to dream? In my dream Peter visited me, and took me away as he would when I was younger. We had a marvelous time, and when I woke up I realized that he may not be physically real, but he is in all of our hearts and minds.
Peter definitely expanded my mind, as he did with other children my age. I don’t pick up a book without thinking about kids younger than me, who don’t know what they’re missing out on. They take advantage of technology, using without pause. I remember how I learned how to read and write; I would listen to the words my mom spoke as she read, and I would memorize them. I'm not saying this is the way children should learn. I'm saying children should broaden their minds, not be stuck to video games and computers. They should think out of the box, and maybe some of them will grow to be the next JM Barrie, fueling our imaginations and allowing them to be even greater than before.
I believe in these children and their future. I believe that Peter Pan can stir up the Lost Boy in every person out there, child or not. He can enter our dreams without hesitation and fill them with ideas, taking us places we’ve never known. I believe in Peter Pan, and I know that he can help us see, even if he’s only in our minds.

Christmas in July!!!

My sister is always reading magazines....always! She usually donates them but this time she was leaving to Egypt and Jordan so she didn't have time and I took them to give to my homeless friends in the area where I work.

I love these people. They appreciate everything, they are humorous, loving, and most of all giving. They beg people for money and then always offer to buy me lunch...lol

Well, every morning when I get here they are fighting over the morning paper that people leave at Starbucks. Believe me, they read more of that paper than George Bush ever has! Anyhow, so I come in today and tell them to come pick out some magazines and they are literally little kids in a candy store. They went wild...screaming at the pictures of Prince William, Sandra Bullock, and Jennifer Aniston. It was a sight. I never thought they would enjoy those magazines so much. We got them passed out and they all settled at Starbucks, with their donated cold drinks in hand, to read from their new magazines.

I had so much fun watching them yelp and holler with excitement. Man, it was fun. I am going to make sure that they get their fix everytime my sister has any more of these things.

I finally finished my last class on Sunday. I get final grades turned in tomorrow and I am home free and on my way to Dallas on Friday! I am so happy to finally get some time off. Jeneane is settled at A&M. She says boys are allowed in the girl dorms and Osama and I freaked out. He almost went to pick her up after she made the announcement. He is not thrilled for her to be there with a bunch of older college boys and girls. I trust her. I know that I can't be a nut case about this. I mean how am I supposed to teach her right from wrong if she does not get to make decisions. I told her to be careful and that she knew our expectations...she laughed, "OKAY MOM...I KNOW MOM..."

Well, you know the drill with kids. That is her college of choice. Osama and I kept driving around the campus on Sunday admiring it and praying she gets a nice scholarship there when she graduates high school. My beautiful cousin Arwa received her PhD from there and when I took Jeneane up to take a science class there about 2 years ago we went to lunch with Arwa and they were both discussing genetics or something. Since that day she looks up to Arwa so much and when we dropped her off she said, "Mom, I am going to get my PhD from here, like Arwa."

The thing is with Jeneane is that she does not look 13 because she is so tall. She is about 5'8''- yes, my height and she is curvy. We could tell when we dropped her off that she was a little intimidated...so maybe that will be a good thing. That evening when I called she sounded like she was having a party in her room. She already made friends. Thank you God, and please God, keep the boys away.

I just received an email about an hour ago from DUKE letting me know that she was accepted into a writing program and the woman who is teaching it is was an assistant to Henry Kissinger and her resume is exactly what Jeneane needs to get her foot in the writing door so to speak. Plus, Duke knocking can't hurt either.