The Reformer

My friend Sheree is an athlete. I can see her reading this and saying "yeah, right." She is. She has a gorgeous body and she works very hard for it. Yesterday, I ran into her at the gym. I let her talk me into taking a pilates class on the reformer. This reformer is a contraption that sort of looks like it comes out of an S&M movie. It has chains, handcuffs, and the works. The trainer was really nice but what was funny is that he said he was some kind of Ranger for the military (he looked like the gentle giant). Now, close your eyes and imagine him teaching us to do pilates.

First of all, I have to say that I didn't anticipate it being as hard as it was. I mean for heavens sake, Star Jones did it. In case you didn't grasp that, let me repeat myself, STAR JONES DID IT. I saw her big ass sliding up and down like a pro. I thought I was going to look like I was a pro. I was in so much pain. I actually flashed Sheree the bird. Second, to add insult to injury, the trainer points out very private parts using locations like "above your pubic hair." Ughhh...Since I am so fat I haven't seen that area in years, I couldn't locate that area without a GPS locator. Then, like that was not bad enough, he explains to us that he will touch us to correct our positions. Those who know me, know I hate to be touched. Needless to say, I was straining to get the positions right so he wouldn't lay a finger on me. I came out with a hemorrhoid..just kidding (I had those before the class). Every time I strained he would say,"yep, that's it." I kept that face going for an hour. I think it worked.

Ok...I have to confess, I actually got a great work out. I loved the fact that I couldn't do any of the positions. It was exhausting and I really felt the pain. So, I am going to sign up for another month of this. I don't know if I am just asking for it but for sure I look forward to blogging about it. I found a picture online of some women using the reformer and I am posting it so you can get the idea and no, I am not that fat woman in the picture.