2010

It would seem that I should start the year with hope and dreams of what 2010 should bring but I feel antsy already. Ever time I try to think of 2010 as a new start, I think of what a shitty thing that is. I mean, it is not like I don't need a fresh start. I do. I need it bad but I can't imagine where I am going to put my baggage of feelings and store them for later.
I'm anxious, I'm exhausted, and unless a miracle of some kind happens, that is not going to change. I am not a pessimist by nature but life is starting to drag me down. I don't know if it is age, because I really don't know what else to blame, but I don't have tolerance for stupidity, noise, or bullshit anymore.
I've decided to start a vision board. Rumor has it that these things really work...and maybe that is the problem. I don't have a bright vision of the future. Instead of looking forward to stuff, I dread tomorrow. I see my friends losing their jobs, worrying about lawsuits, people hurting others (even the closest people around them), and I can't think of what in the future must happen to change all of this.
I am going to put happy pictures, maybe the positive thinking will rub off on me somehow. I am also going to put a picture of a suitcase to store my baggage and all those angry feelings I have developed these past few years.
If that doesn't work then I'll actually buy a suitcase and maybe get away till I can can learn to deal with all these issues. We will see....
Here's to 2010 and what the future may bring.