Shadoona's Place

Another Day

2011-03-25T18:58:00.000-07:00

I wish I had the time to write because I have had so many things going that I really want to talk about but I am swamped. I barely have enough time to sleep which is not new to anyone who reads my blog.
The kids have really grown up this year. I am lucky in the sense that they are so independent. I am going to be one of those moms that knows that her kids are ok when they finally head off to college. I just wish I had more time to spend with them today but life has a way of playing with our priorities.
My mother-in-law has been staying with us for about 4 months and in addition to the store, the kids, and teaching, I am also writing again. It's a great feeling to get stuff down on paper...even greater when I get published. My first Article was published in Race-Talk Magazine during the Tunisian uprising. I got wonderful feedback on it and it has really given me a boost to keep working.
I have always wanted to do a thousand things when I grew up. I guess now I can say I am doing it. I am blessed, I say this every single day and I feel it every single second. I know I have a really rough life, but I know I would not want it any other way.
I will be married 10 years this October. Osama and I are either going to renew our vows here in Houston or in Italy. It's been so long since we have been able to go anywhere, away, one on one. The only thing we ever get out to do nowadays is attend comedy shows. We saw Arabs Gone Wild and Maz Jobrani recently and they were both amazing shows.
Jeneane is preparing for the college program she attends in the summer. This year she is studying Algebra II. This means that she walks into her sophomore year with all her math credits. She was also invited to attend a program at George Mason University but we can't afford it.
Afif is a little boy scout. He helps open the doors for his grandmas, he takes out the trash, snuggles with me....one day this boy is going to make an amazingly loving husband.
Now, I have to go catch up on my "words with friends" scrabble game.....

A Month Off For Mommy!

2010-10-10T20:39:00.000-07:00

I am exhausted! For the past week I have been debilitated and bedridden. The schedule I have been trying to maintain has finally caught up with me. Two teaching jobs, a full time business owner, a full time mommy, and wife...and I am pooped.

Everyone kept telling me that the grueling schedule was not going to last but I didn't listen because Osama and I are in a crossroad in our life. He is also working way too much....gone Monday through Friday....week after week.

Finally, I got sick. I was so sick I literally could not get out of bed to even use the restroom or eat. Everything hurt, ached, I was sick to my stomach and it felt like a bad case of the flu. I slept about 18 hours of every day for a few days before I could get up and start moving again. It really scared me.

The problem is that once you fall everything around you starts to fall along with you. The kids depend on me to pick them up and get them to their activities, make their meals, and take care of their every whim. Osama depends on me to set up his business logistics and plan his schedule ahead. The store needs me to maintain purchases and the books...that is not to mention the hours I put in actually working the floor. Then when I get done, I run home to make sure everything is clean, the kids get their homework done, and I start grading papers and getting my own teaching work out of the way. I honestly just can't do it any longer. I took a leave of absence for a month from teaching.

I don't know if it is going to help. It is only a month but I really need it. The last time I had a day off was July 13. I am just so behind and I need a breather. I don't even know what this month is going to do but my doctor said that if I don't slow down then my U.C. is going to flare and that frightened me back to reality. So, here is to a month off....I honestly can't wait.

Oh, and I've been invited to write for an online magazine. Not sure if I want to do it yet. I've had writer's block....but I will keep you all updated!

Jeneane has been published!!!!

2010-09-21T10:06:00.000-07:00

Last night Jeneane runs down the stairs screaming "MOM" at the top of her lungs. My heart dropped thinking that something had happened. It did! She was published on the "This I believe" website, her essay chosen as one worth publishing.

I spent the entire night dreaming about her future....
Please God take care of her, light her way, bless her with opportunity and the courage to work through the elements of life.

I can't express what this feels like....I can't express what this means to her and in turn to me. I am watching her blossom. I am watching her take her baby steps through the world every day and my heart swells with pride.

Here is the site, please share it so that she may be chosen as a finalist.

http://thisibelieve.org/essay/84510/

Bab El Hara

2010-08-27T10:55:00.000-07:00

The phenomenon of Bab El Hara is not new. Like everyone else I know, I am glued to the TV as soon as it starts to the second it ends. I cheer, I cry, I lament on the days where men were actually that, men.

What I don't like is the way women are portrayed in this show. As far as what we see, they are born, raised, marry, and then die between 4 walls and under a man's rule. Last night's episode was no different except that something inside me broke. At one point, one of the characters who is married to a doctor, and gets to travel from one home to another with him,is admired by a couple of young ladies and told that they wished they could share her freedom.

My heart broke. I didn't live 80 years ago in Syria to better understand the customs but I do understand that the men wished to protect the women in their families from the then French rulers who seemed to abuse their power. Honor was everything.

But that is not just it. In one scene a husband returns a wife to her family home as an act of revenge because his sister was returned to her family home for not being a good wife. The husband comes to apologize and the young lady refuses to return with him stating, "I am not a toy that you take when you want and return when you are feeling vengeful." Her mother then walks in yelling at her and orders her to pack and return with her husband.

Where is this woman's dignity? Where is her sense of self and self respect? Why are women treated with such indignity? Better yet, why am I still watching?

In this day and age we crave some of the qualities that these men portray. We miss the masculinity of men, their sense of honor, respect for their fellow man and neighbor, the recognition that we are our brother's keeper. I love that they help the needy and hold a sense of pride in their community. I love that they don't let the unjust ruler get away with their obvious abuses. Above everything else, I love the simplicity of life that seems to be the constant thread that unites these people.

To be honest I don't think I will stop watching the show. I am addicted to the story line and obsessed with the idea that we, as Arabs, once stood united against our oppressors, a far cry from what we see today. That said, I still wish that the writers of the show took the time to invest in their obvious success providing a story line that demonstrates the strength of these women, their loyalty to their homes, and their love and sacrifice for their country.

Mommy, when can I start dating??

2010-07-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

SAY WHAT?? Yes, that was my reaction!

I almost fell over dead when Jeneane asked me that yesterday and I spent a night of rolling all over the place, sweaty, nervous, and on the verge of throwing up.

What do you mean by "dating"?

You know, "dating".

No,I actually don't.

Well, I never thought I would hear those words at 13! I tried so hard to explain to her that when she meets the right man, that she wants to spend the rest of her life with, that she can date him. I was babbling and I don't remember the rest of the conversation. Am I in denial? I started shaking and wanted to run to A&M to pick her up and Osama had to calm me down. He said he'll pick her up on Saturday and talk to her. If she understands we'll be home by noon....if she doesn't I'll just bury her somewhere on the way home and be back by 3, he joked.

I'm glad he thinks its funny but I am a BIG MESS! My daughter is growing up and I am not prepared for this. For heavens sake she was in an Islamic school for about 3 years! You know it's a good school when its put on the terrorism watch list...lol

I don't know if maybe this whole college thing is making her think she is older than what she is. Some of her friends are like 17 and some are even older! I know she is maturing quickly. I can talk to her about anything....well, anything but that and I am not sure how I am going to talk to her anymore now that THAT is in the way.

Feel free to submit advise....even anonymously. I can use all the help you have to offer!!!

This I Believe by Jeneane Amin

2010-07-28T11:29:00.000-07:00

The "This I believe" NPR contest has taken place for many years. Some of the most famous writers have submitted entries but I was thrilled to see that Jeneane is entering the contest this year. This is her entry:

Jeneane Amin
7/21/10

I Believe in Peter Pan
Peter Pan. The source of all childish beliefs like pixies, flying ships, and a boy that never grows up. Never growing, never dying. Just saying his name makes you smile. From the day the Author, JM Barrie, wrote Peter Pan, he gave people, young and old all different hopes.
You can look at movies, especially newer ones, and see how some who have been touched by him see. This is all his work. Peter is in everything, and if you look close enough you’ll always find him. Peter has taken what little we saw, and opened our eyes to the creativity. Then, and only then, do we see the pixies. Younger people, who were blessed with that broader perspective, sit and think; they then turn into adults who make things like books, movies, music and art of all kind. Even if they don’t accomplish these actions, Peter will pass on the child-like hopes to their children.
My mom helped provide this hope. She would tell me stories about how she used to hang out with Peter. They would glue Hook’s toes together, and blast fireworks on the ships. Sometimes she would tell me that Tinker Bell snuggled with me one night, or maybe my mom would come into my room and see a trail of silver pixie dust left behind.
Once I could’ve sworn I saw the shadow of a flying boy out my window. My mom told me it was Peter and that he had dropped me back off after spending the night in Neverland. After that I was sure that Peter Pan was real. When I was bored I would think about him taking me away, my imagination running wild, as it still does today.
It was a sleepy day and my head was resting on my arms. What could anyone do, but start to dream? In my dream Peter visited me, and took me away as he would when I was younger. We had a marvelous time, and when I woke up I realized that he may not be physically real, but he is in all of our hearts and minds.
Peter definitely expanded my mind, as he did with other children my age. I don’t pick up a book without thinking about kids younger than me, who don’t know what they’re missing out on. They take advantage of technology, using without pause. I remember how I learned how to read and write; I would listen to the words my mom spoke as she read, and I would memorize them. I'm not saying this is the way children should learn. I'm saying children should broaden their minds, not be stuck to video games and computers. They should think out of the box, and maybe some of them will grow to be the next JM Barrie, fueling our imaginations and allowing them to be even greater than before.
I believe in these children and their future. I believe that Peter Pan can stir up the Lost Boy in every person out there, child or not. He can enter our dreams without hesitation and fill them with ideas, taking us places we’ve never known. I believe in Peter Pan, and I know that he can help us see, even if he’s only in our minds.

Christmas in July!!!

2010-07-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

My sister is always reading magazines....always! She usually donates them but this time she was leaving to Egypt and Jordan so she didn't have time and I took them to give to my homeless friends in the area where I work.

I love these people. They appreciate everything, they are humorous, loving, and most of all giving. They beg people for money and then always offer to buy me lunch...lol

Well, every morning when I get here they are fighting over the morning paper that people leave at Starbucks. Believe me, they read more of that paper than George Bush ever has! Anyhow, so I come in today and tell them to come pick out some magazines and they are literally little kids in a candy store. They went wild...screaming at the pictures of Prince William, Sandra Bullock, and Jennifer Aniston. It was a sight. I never thought they would enjoy those magazines so much. We got them passed out and they all settled at Starbucks, with their donated cold drinks in hand, to read from their new magazines.

I had so much fun watching them yelp and holler with excitement. Man, it was fun. I am going to make sure that they get their fix everytime my sister has any more of these things.

I finally finished my last class on Sunday. I get final grades turned in tomorrow and I am home free and on my way to Dallas on Friday! I am so happy to finally get some time off. Jeneane is settled at A&M. She says boys are allowed in the girl dorms and Osama and I freaked out. He almost went to pick her up after she made the announcement. He is not thrilled for her to be there with a bunch of older college boys and girls. I trust her. I know that I can't be a nut case about this. I mean how am I supposed to teach her right from wrong if she does not get to make decisions. I told her to be careful and that she knew our expectations...she laughed, "OKAY MOM...I KNOW MOM..."

Well, you know the drill with kids. That is her college of choice. Osama and I kept driving around the campus on Sunday admiring it and praying she gets a nice scholarship there when she graduates high school. My beautiful cousin Arwa received her PhD from there and when I took Jeneane up to take a science class there about 2 years ago we went to lunch with Arwa and they were both discussing genetics or something. Since that day she looks up to Arwa so much and when we dropped her off she said, "Mom, I am going to get my PhD from here, like Arwa."

The thing is with Jeneane is that she does not look 13 because she is so tall. She is about 5'8''- yes, my height and she is curvy. We could tell when we dropped her off that she was a little intimidated...so maybe that will be a good thing. That evening when I called she sounded like she was having a party in her room. She already made friends. Thank you God, and please God, keep the boys away.

I just received an email about an hour ago from DUKE letting me know that she was accepted into a writing program and the woman who is teaching it is was an assistant to Henry Kissinger and her resume is exactly what Jeneane needs to get her foot in the writing door so to speak. Plus, Duke knocking can't hurt either.

VACATION!!!!

2010-07-08T09:51:00.000-07:00

So Jeneane is off to college station this weekend and I am off to see the wizard! Yes, I am referring to the wizard of oz! I am taking a vacation with my BFF Reem and we are going to a Korean spa which she says is out of this world. I was ok with that till she told me we had to be naked. Yes, naked....gross! When they see my lovely curves I am going to be charged for 2 people.

I told her if we got arrestd naked in a massage parlor that Osama was probably not going to be a happy camper and the both of us were probably going to have to serve it out because he is not going to bail our naked asses out. So, to all my loyal and loving friends.....please wait for that collect call. I promse to repay the favor and bail money too!

I am also going to meet her friends, although I feel like I already know all of them. She is setting up a sushi happy hour for all of us to get together and no, they wont be joining us for the naked korean massage.

I'll also be seeing my brother Mozeekat, his lovely wife, and animals. It will be the first trip to Dallas since he bought a home and I am so darn excited to see his new pad!

I won't be posting pics of the massage....in case you were wondering because I try to keep this blog pg-13. This is going to be my first week off in 2 years!

Here's to a vacation well spent! Oh, and a WOOO HOO for Reem who convinced me to take it!

Osama told me a joke today that is worth sharing:

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created
Man and rested. Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

LOL, good teaches them a lesson!

NSU - Advance 2010

2010-06-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

So Afif, Tala, and I decided we were going to surprise Jeneane and show up to the closing ceremonies of her program at Northwestern State University. I didn't know if we were going to make it because it is a 5 hour drive and Osama was not going to be home till Friday evening. He caught an early flight and we ran to the airport to rent a car and try to make it by 6. It was close. At 80 MPH made it in less than 3 hours. It was a crazy drive but I really wanted to see her preform.

The town is called Natchitoches. This is the sweetest little college town in Louisiana. It is where the movie Sweet Magnolias was filmed. They have a beautiful little river running through it and a million small bed and breakfasts....very pretty place.

Last year was her first year to be invited into the program and this year she accepted a big scholarship and an invitation to return. This program and those who teach it are amazing. The staff of Professors are top notch, the teacher assistants are full of life and amazing, and the Room assistants who care for them after 8 daily hours of class are full of fun ideas and motivation to get them to complete this program with a positive attitude. It is very difficult for these kids, most of whom are middle school students, to be able to take such challenging classes as a years worth of college level physics and logic in 3 weeks...and to really learn to love the subjects and succeed . Last year Jeneane completed a Shakespeare class and this year she completed a Film Studies class. Her aspiration is to become a book critic for the NY Times.

At the end of every program kids are invited to sing, dance, and do what they like. Jeneane loves to sing and I am going to post her video on my FB account. I am also posting the video for the room assistants and teacher assistants also on my FB account. They put on their own show every year.....it is so much fun for the kids...and I have to admit that I love it as well.

A way to live again, a way to love again

2010-06-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

I'm 35. I'm not young anymore. When I was young I thought I knew it all. I was ambitious, spontaneous, and stupid. It is really weird how we risk so much when we have no value for what we are risking. I have struggled a lot. Been through way too much emotional turmoil and way too much pain. I look back now and wonder how it is I got through it all. The answer is my kids, my family, Osameh, and God.

My kids have given me a sense of hope. Everything in their eyes is doable. When Adam passed away Jeneane came up to me and hugged me. She was so upset that her brother didn't make it. I was in shambles. Osameh was inconsolable. But my sister came over with Danny and somehow I knew that I was going to have another son that Danny was going to be playing with, that was going to be loved like Adam was promised to. He was so beautiful and I often wonder what he would have been like had he lived to be a young man.

Then Afif came along and taught me the very meaning of beauty. He is so his own man and so my best friend that I can't imagine a breath of life without him. When he was a baby he inspired me to go back to school and finish my masters. Just looking at him and Jeneane I knew I had to raise the bar...set the standard high enough for the both of them. They both look up to me so much that I knew that if I didn't go back to school that I would always live in the what ifs and the I wish.

Through all of this I have been blessed to always have the support of my Mom and Dad and my siblings. Kawther is not only my confidant, but also the woman I aspire to be. I have been so blessed with their love that I couldn't have done anything or accomplished anything if it wasn't for their cheering at the sidelines every step of the way.

Then there is Osameh, my funny man. A little bit of mobster, totally intimidating to others and the biggest teddy bear God ever created. He is kind, generous, and supportive. Everytime I get an idea in my head he gives me the energy to follow through. I get mad at him, he laughs. I scream, he laughs. He balances my insanity and the wildness of the kids with laughter. I don't know what I would do if I had to go through life with out him there to giggle me through it.

Finally, there has been one constant presence to which I owe all.....God.
I am grateful for everything he has ever given me and everything he has taken away. In the darkest of places and in the darkest of hours he has been there...holding me together and keeping me sane. I have had a challenging life, but what I have had more than anything else is a series of blessings that I would not have appreciated without those dark hours, those hard times.

I have really learned to truely live and love again.

Congrats JJ!!!

2010-06-14T09:43:00.000-07:00

Jeneane was accepted once more to the prestigious program at Northwestern University in Natchitoches. She was also accepted to A&M as well. She also won scholarships to both schools. Last year she took a college level Shakespeare class and this year she is taking Film studies and Creative writing. This means that when she walks into college in a few years she will have 9 solid credit hours! Woooohoo!!!

I look at her sometimes and I am amazed at her accomplishments. She has overcome more at her age than what most people manage to deal with at any age. She has come out on the other side, head held high, proud and strong.

She is my pride and joy in every single way possible. I look at her shine with success and I realize that even though I have been very strict in the way I have raised her...I have obviously been doing something right.

She was vice president of her gaming club at school, and she was part of the reading club, dance team, and starred in 3 theatre productions this year alone. Now she is finally off o high school...WOW!

I am so proud of her and I probably never say it enough....
Jeneane I love you....and I am so damn proud of you and everything you have been able to accomplish thus far.

2010

2010-01-01T08:32:00.000-08:00

It would seem that I should start the year with hope and dreams of what 2010 should bring but I feel antsy already. Ever time I try to think of 2010 as a new start, I think of what a shitty thing that is. I mean, it is not like I don't need a fresh start. I do. I need it bad but I can't imagine where I am going to put my baggage of feelings and store them for later.
I'm anxious, I'm exhausted, and unless a miracle of some kind happens, that is not going to change. I am not a pessimist by nature but life is starting to drag me down. I don't know if it is age, because I really don't know what else to blame, but I don't have tolerance for stupidity, noise, or bullshit anymore.
I've decided to start a vision board. Rumor has it that these things really work...and maybe that is the problem. I don't have a bright vision of the future. Instead of looking forward to stuff, I dread tomorrow. I see my friends losing their jobs, worrying about lawsuits, people hurting others (even the closest people around them), and I can't think of what in the future must happen to change all of this.
I am going to put happy pictures, maybe the positive thinking will rub off on me somehow. I am also going to put a picture of a suitcase to store my baggage and all those angry feelings I have developed these past few years.
If that doesn't work then I'll actually buy a suitcase and maybe get away till I can can learn to deal with all these issues. We will see....
Here's to 2010 and what the future may bring.

Ulcertive Colitis

2009-10-23T12:35:00.000-07:00

You know, it is not every day that you run into a good doctor. In the past few years, I have learned the difference between a good one and a bad one, and the secret to it all is if they truly care.

A few weeks ago, at the end of Ramadan I started to lose energy and get very sick. I started sleeping more, eating less, and I had fits of painful unexplained diarrhea. Then the diarrhea turned bloody, it looked like it had mucus in it, and the pain progressed. The kids were sick so I thought I caught a bug from them. Then I tried to explain it away as IBS, something my entire family seems to suffer silently with. My IBS is normally triggered by stress and opening this new business had put so much pressure on our family and finances. Then the pain began to increase to the point where I began vomiting then going in and out of consciousness when I had to go…which was about every 15 minutes.

After the incident with my dad, the idea of going to a hospital for care terrifies me. So, when I called my primary care physician on a Wednesday and was told she had no openings till Monday, I waited (this was even after I explained my situation). By now, I was physically unable to get out of bed or put anything into my mouth. On Monday, I went to my PCP only to find a Doc was substituting for her. We suspected Shigella, a bacteria that causes similar symptoms. I think I may have put that thought into his head because I had already researched enough to know that I had 1 of four things:
• A bacterial infection (hence the Shigella)
• Crohns Disease
• Ulcerative Colitis
• Or Colon Cancer (which killed my Grandfather)
He sent me off for some testing and started me on antibiotics (cipro).
I took my Antibiotics and I cried. In addition to all the pain, I now had a fever, chills, and some form of all day morning sickness. Any strong scent made me sick. I was miserable and my weight had officially plummeted 20 pounds.

I know that many of you reading this are wondering why I would put all this embarrassing stuff out there? Well, I cannot imagine not talking about it because I had never heard of this disease more than briefly before I got it. Millions of people are living with this debilitating disease and suffering in silence because it is embarrassing to tell people when you are crapping blood and fainting on the john.

Well, I waited and waited for the results. I called my Doctor and she called back letting me know she had not yet received my test results, so I waited some more. Waiting, when you are in such pain, is ridiculous. Looking back, I should have been forced to a hospital for immediate treatment but I fought everyone about going and in hindsight, I was an ass. After another week of waiting, I called her office on three separate occasions and no one called me back regarding the messages that I left. I started to freak out. By now, anyone who knows anything about me, knows my obsession with knowing everything about anything. My dad inspired this in me and to this day, anytime I see a subject I am not familiar with, I buy the book so to speak. On Friday the 16th I drove over to her office at 8 am and I explained to the woman at the front desk my situation. She told me I needed to see a GI. “WHAT??? How do you know,” I asked, “Do you have my file in front of you?”
“No, and I am not authorized to give you that information, please have a seat and wait.” Can staff do that? Can they blindly give medical advice?

So I sat. I waited until the nurse came out and explained to me that my results had actually been there since the 8th…yes the damn 8th! No one had bothered to call and tell me. She asked me to wait for the doctor who would further explain the results. When the doc arrived I was shocked. She asked me into a room and yelled at me for being rude to her staff. HELLOOOOO! I was not rude, I was frustrated I explained. I am debilitated. In order for me to have been able to even drive to her office, I had to sit for an hour and a half on a toilet so I didn’t have an accident on the way. She made me look like a liar…asking her nurse in front of the entire staff if she had phone records of me calling. The nurse replied with, “I think I only found one.” The Doctor then turned around and said, “We don’t make mistakes here.” Meaning I was lying! I stayed patient and asked for a referral to a GI. She gave me one that agreed to see me that afternoon. This is where my story turns.
Dr. Vichanni is an amazing, young, and attentive doctor. I think that he was a blessing from God! I arrived that afternoon and he patiently listened as I went through the pain and suffering of the past five weeks. I told him about my research and I and asked him if he thought I had colon cancer and he didn’t lie to me. He said, “I don’t know, we can get on this immediately and find out. I never say never.”
He walked me to the blood testing area, he walked me to the front of the office to make sure I was immediately scheduled for a colonoscopy, and he explained things to me to put me at ease. The weekend that followed almost killed me. I had endure laxatives (like I had anything left in me) and no food (which I couldn’t get down anyway) for the entire weekend. Now I had dropped close to 27 pounds. On Monday morning He preformed my colonoscopy and told me the good and bad news. The good news: I did not have colon cancer!!!! The bad news: I had Ulcerative Colitis. Arguably an incurable disease. Many people who suffer with disease end up with colon cancer and end up losing their colon. The prospects are not pretty.
Doctor Vichanni immediately started me on Asacol and waited till my results came in to prescribe Prednisone. I still could not down anything and I have to say that his follow up and patience with my questions were out of this world. I can’t say that I have ever spent as much time on the phone questioning and prodding anyone more than I did him regarding this subject. He patiently answered each and every one of my questions, he provided me with options and helped me make an informed decision. I had resisted using any kind of cortisone for my psoriasis over the years because of the harsh side effects but he convinced me that the benefit outweighed the cost and that with proper treatment I may be able to to go into a state of remission for many years and live a healthy life.

Today, he called me to make sure that I was doing well with the prednisone and I asked him about research done in Australia with Fecal biotherapy, or implantation. He asked me to bring in what I found and promised that if it seemed doable and realistic, that he would help me get the information I needed to get the procedure done. Just the fact that he was open minded to my need for information comforted me. I really did find that one in a million doctor. Dr. Nitesh Vichhani is a GI located in Sugar Land, TX and his number is 281-342-9530. I hope you this never happens to anyone I know but if you ever need a good GI give this man a try.

Our Cat in the Hat - Princess Pebbles Amin

2009-08-05T23:24:00.000-07:00

I can't breathe and my asthma is killing me. Jeneane seems to think I will somehow adjust and because Osama hates the damn thing, I am suffering in silence. The first hint of "I can't breathe" will come with a "great, then let's help her find a new home." It is amazing how someone so messy...we often times call Osama "The Germ"...can have qualms about a cat.

Afif is traumatized by her because she follows him around. Yesterday, we looked all over for her only to find that he had placed Princess Pebbles in her own closet retreat. I know, you are probably thinking this isn't even funny, but I promise it was hysterical to watch us rolling the house over for a little kitten.

To be honest I really dislike pets. I used to have a dog named Bear that I still feel bad about till this day. He used to like to chew on my things, even figuring out how to get them out of my drawers. I used to get so flustered with him when he pulled apart the carpet and I was probably not the nicest owner. There was also a cat named Mimi who pooped everywhere, a bird named Susu that attracted mice to our little home in Connecticut, and a fish that seemed to explode (sorry but I forgot his name).

I know, by now you are probably wondering if it wouldn't be a wise choice to call CPS but thank goodness I have yet to have any major incidents with my kids. Every now and then I'll catch myself saying "who are these people?" when I pass them in another room but I have adjusted. I remember when Jeneane used to give me MAJOR anxiety attacks, and that has, for the most part, passed. Maybe the asthma attacks from the cat will pass as well.

RIP Zak Dardas

2009-05-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since anyone we knew passed away. On the 18th of May, a young man named Zakaria Dardas, was laid to rest. It is heartbreaking, painful both physically and mentally, and just plain old sad. He passed on his 18th birthday, beautiful and young.

I personally cannot imagine the pain his family must have felt. I cried at their sorrow. I discovered that worse than feeling pain yourself, is feeling pain for not being able to help those who are so obviously suffering. I sat in front of his mother speechless. I could not say anything that could comfort her, so I kept my mouth shut.

When we see death, we tend to remember our own mortality and the mortality of those around us. I guess in some ways, I am grateful that a reminder such as this brings us closer to those we love. I have noticed that I am more patient with the kids and Osama, willing to forgive when someone hurts me, and asking honestly and openly for the forgiveness and love of those around me.

I know that it shouldn't be that way. I understand that I should value each and everyday but life does that sometimes. We rush through, forgetful of what it is we are grateful for, and act like each day, month, and year are just a part of our big picture when in truth, we don't know just how big the picture is.

So with all the sadness of this sudden event, I am glad it has given me the opportunity to tell my family just how much it is that I love them. Even if just for a few brief days or months, I hope the effect lasts......because sooner or later we will have moved on, life sweeping us along, and we go back to the same old habits until there is another reminder and we are once more drawn together.

RIP Zak Dardas....May God have mercy on your soul!

Salt of This Sea

2009-04-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a long time, I felt a sense of belonging. I cannot believe that a movie would do that, but somehow it touched me enough to have me thinking about issues that I thought that I had long ago abandoned.

I have always struggled with my identity. It is not as if I thought I was German or something. I understood I was a Palestinian who was born in Kuwait and raised in Texas. I understood my culture, and I understood the culture that I had assimilated into, but I didn't always feel comfortable in that environment. Sometimes I attribute that to the fact that my Mother was super social, making it difficult to develop a separate identity outside of her circle, but overall, I never developed a comfort level with Americans, Arabs, or Arab Americans.

This movie expressed all that and more.

Here was this young woman, born and raised in Brooklyn, looking for, and in many ways finding herself, in her home country. She meets a young man who should have been very clear about his identity, I mean why you would question your identity when you are born and raised in your homeland is new to me, yet he is clearly trying to rid himself of what this identity entails.

Their journey is beautiful, because besides their issues with identity, they find love. This is not simple to do in a place that dehumanizes them, humiliates them, and degrades their existence in every way.

At the end of the movie, I looked around to see the same expression on every face on the room. In that brief moment, I felt like I might belong.

Bakugon

2009-04-10T20:11:00.000-07:00

Over the past two months we have spent about 150 dollars on Bakugon balls. Wondering what it is I'm talking about? Well, then you are not up with the times. These little balls transform into different characters meant to brawl using their G Power (labeled inside each one). Afif is addicted. If he isn't playing with them, he is watching videos of the Anime that inspired their creation on youtube.

The kid refuses to read anything on his own unless he is running a search on youtube...what's wrong with that???

Osama takes him to Toys R Us every week, inspiring a weekly arguement about why he does not have to have every single one of these stupid balls. Today he came home, smiling, "Mom, I didn't just get a bakugon today. I got a belt to carry them and a bakugon field to brawl on."

It looks like I'm going to be losing this battle.

Facebook

2009-04-09T22:47:00.000-07:00

Osama wanted to know why he was not included on my friends list. Apparently, he thinks that being married automatically grants him entrance to the great gates on my FB account.

I didn't even have restrictions on my account until he joined. Who is this? Who is that? Why did you post this? Do you think people need to know that? Ok. That settled it. 20 Questions was never my favorite game. I've always been ok with the fact that we came from different generations but he still doesn't understand why I get a paycheck to "play online" as he calls it.

Anyway, now that he has discovered FB he is addicted, like te rest of us. Every time someone he doesn't like sends him a friendship request he gets mad. Umm, don't accept it.... "What, you want beoble to say I am being rude to them?"

The killer came when one of his buddies asked him how old Jeneane was (she was stupid enough to add her father). He screamed and pitched a fit about her picture attracting the wrong kind of men (his friends)....I LMAO because I have a feeling he'll give her away just so he doesn't have to disappoint any beoble.

Free, Free Palestine!

2009-01-02T19:26:00.000-08:00

It really has been way too long since I have written. I got another job teaching at another university.... teaching what else but......Cultural Diversity. I love teaching....adults. I can't handle children but I can deal well with adults.

I have been thinking long and hard about writing about what is happening in Gaza. I really didn't want to touch the subject because I know just how passionate this discussion is going to get. Yet, I think we have a moral and a political obligation to discuss the injustice imposed by Israel on the Palestinians.

To start with, I would like to clarify that I do not, under any circumstances support or even slightly condone what Hamas has done or stands for. I think Hamas is a disease hiding behind religion. I also think Fateh and our Palestinian government is full of criminals, thieves, manipulators, and bastards. That said, I do not believe that what Israel is doing is justified. Let us simplify the problem if you will:
If I was to throw a pencil at you, would that justify you shooting me with a bullet? Hellllooooo......the war is not a proportionate war. The bombs being thrown at Israel had not killed anyone until Israels offensive. I am so tired of hearing that this mess is the fault of Palestinians. For those of you who do not know the situation in Gaza, let me start by saying that over 50% (now 100% after the start of the attack)of the people do not have electricity, running water, food, medication. Why, might you ask? Gaza has a blockade that surrounds it. Nothing is allowed in and nothing is allowed out. What the hell are people supposed to do when the world sits around and watches what president Jimmy Carter himself has called apartheid. The Palestinians in the Gaza Strip are suffering. Several months ago they literally broke through the blockade just to go out and get food and basic needs. Is this not sad?

We have a moral obligation to address this injustice. I am not even going to discuss the whole occupation. I am only discussing the current issue.
Politically, we, as Americans, owe the Palestinian people the basic right of sitting down as a neutral party to get this issue resolved. I know, I am not in denial. This is never going to happen but......do you remember a time when blacks were considered second class citizens? Do you remember when being gay was a crime? Do you remember when women didn't have equal rights? I know that there must be hope that someday change will come and that the Palestinians may one day have the freedom from occupation that they deserve.
I am open for discussion if anyone is interested.
BTW, I wanted to post a picture of what was happening in Gaza and then I decided to post an empowering picture. The one good thing that came out of all this is that our children have finally began to learn what it means to be a Palestinian.

Obama Mama

2008-10-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

My Mom voted for the first time in her life today. It was awesome. A few days ago I asked her if she was registered and she said she didn't know. So, I logged into the SOS site and checked. Sure enough she was registered. I dragged her to the early voting site today. We waited in line for 30 minutes but she was so excited it made the wait so worth it. I stood next to her and read the instructions while she figured the machine out. For those who are used to the process, congratulations, but for my mom today was a special day. Her voice was heard. The little old lady from Yazour is now an Obama Mama.

The Reformer

2008-10-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

My friend Sheree is an athlete. I can see her reading this and saying "yeah, right." She is. She has a gorgeous body and she works very hard for it. Yesterday, I ran into her at the gym. I let her talk me into taking a pilates class on the reformer. This reformer is a contraption that sort of looks like it comes out of an S&M movie. It has chains, handcuffs, and the works. The trainer was really nice but what was funny is that he said he was some kind of Ranger for the military (he looked like the gentle giant). Now, close your eyes and imagine him teaching us to do pilates.

First of all, I have to say that I didn't anticipate it being as hard as it was. I mean for heavens sake, Star Jones did it. In case you didn't grasp that, let me repeat myself, STAR JONES DID IT. I saw her big ass sliding up and down like a pro. I thought I was going to look like I was a pro. I was in so much pain. I actually flashed Sheree the bird. Second, to add insult to injury, the trainer points out very private parts using locations like "above your pubic hair." Ughhh...Since I am so fat I haven't seen that area in years, I couldn't locate that area without a GPS locator. Then, like that was not bad enough, he explains to us that he will touch us to correct our positions. Those who know me, know I hate to be touched. Needless to say, I was straining to get the positions right so he wouldn't lay a finger on me. I came out with a hemorrhoid..just kidding (I had those before the class). Every time I strained he would say,"yep, that's it." I kept that face going for an hour. I think it worked.

Ok...I have to confess, I actually got a great work out. I loved the fact that I couldn't do any of the positions. It was exhausting and I really felt the pain. So, I am going to sign up for another month of this. I don't know if I am just asking for it but for sure I look forward to blogging about it. I found a picture online of some women using the reformer and I am posting it so you can get the idea and no, I am not that fat woman in the picture.

Federal Debt Counter

2008-10-16T21:28:00.000-07:00

Jeneane decided to point out that she hated social security today. I couldn't help myself so of course the obvious question that followed that comment was, "Why?" She put together the lame basics that most outdated conservative teachers cover in class (before I get a few nasty emails tomorrow I just want to say that he really is old and outdated, I met him).
1. I'm not benefiting from it.
2. It won't be around when I'm old enough to get it.
3. People should take care of themselves.

I was happy to see that she obviously is paying attention in class but saddened to the reality that as long as I live in Texas, I will have to fight to raise my children with the liberal social views that I believe I try to live by. I respected her argument and asked her questions about the things that she had not thought about. She came up with her own conclusion, and for a young kid, that is as good as it gets. I am posting her pretty little school picture..... I know, I know, thank you, thank you, she does look like me, doesn't she?

I was actually going to write about the federal debt. In fact, I put a debt counter on the right hand side of my blog to keep up with the mounting debt. I tried to write but I couldn't keep my eyes off the numbers because they move so fast. I was hypnotised and I figured that must have been what happened to congress. I bet after a while the numbers just fade into the background. So this is sort of a test for me. I want to see if I am as amazed by that number in a few months as I am today or if it just begins to be that, just a number.

My car broke down today. My rocket car (Afif's name for it) literally smoked. I picked Afif up on Jeneane's bike. Here I was going to the damn gym everyday and I couldn't walk after two blocks on a bike. I am definitely doing something wrong here.

Is Obama Muslim? No, and F-you for asking - by Omar Abou-Sayed

2008-10-14T20:17:00.000-07:00

This is an AWESOME note written by a guy named Omar Abou-Sayed. Please read and forward!

I owe everything I have an am to this country and my parents’ decision to leave their home and to come to America. LIke a lot of you, our love for this country was manifested in a deep sacrifice and in a profound appreciation for the gift of living and being raised here.

Which is why the unbottling of our society's worst instincts recently is so troubling. Specifically, the notion that being of Arab descent or being Muslim is some kind of disqualification for being American, for being patriotic, for being President, and the casualness with which national voices and leaders weave those messages into their discourse, is deeply offensive, and should be to more people than it is.

Simply put, there is a lot of hate and ignorance here today. You hear it in the crowds recently at McCain Palin rallies. It drips from the mouths of pundits like Limbaugh and O'Reilly and Glenn Beck, all nationally prominent and syndicated voices. When Hillary Clinton replies in an interview, when asked about Obama's religion, ""He is not a Muslim as far as I know," she accepts the premise that is being implied. When Giuliani says to thunderous applause, that "the only people you offend when you call it Islamic terrorism is terrorists” he is playing on hate. That is when we have gone off the rails. That is when we have bred a culture of denigration and dehumanization that says that what you can’t say about Blacks or Hispanics or Jews for fear of being labeled racist, bigoted, or anti-Semitic, you can still say about Arabs and Muslims.
“The only people you offend when you call them Black (insert attribute here) are Blacks!”
“The only people you offend when you call them Mexican (insert attribute here) are Mexicans!”
“The only people you offend when you call them Jewish (insert attribute here) are Jews!”

Can you imagine the outcry? And this was not from the lips of some blowhard radio personality. This guy ran for President!

Really, how far off is “nappy headed ho’s” (*cough*Don Imus*cough*) from “towel headed terrorist”. I meant this as a rhetorical question, but then I decided to test Google. I was surprised, and saddened to find that page hit references to Don Imus’s slur (166,000) were actually outnumbered by references "towel headed terrorist" (199,000). So sad.

And it is not a new thing. Dick Armey, when he was house majority leader, called for the expulsion of Palestinians from the West Bank and Gaza, which, when they did similar things in other parts of the world was called ethnic cleansing. Glen Beck, of CNN, in his interview with Keith Ellison, the first Muslim Congressman, asks the Congressman, “"Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies." This guy is on CNN. Every flipping night.

And it plays it self out in the ugliest of ways. Forget profiling at the airport, which I can accept (mostly because I have convinced myself that the profile also includes people who fit the profile of the Unabomber, the Anthrax mail guy, Timothy McVeigh, and their ilk, none of whom were Muslim, Arab, or browner than a grocery bag). But when a month ago I was reading outside at Barnes and Nobles, and a car drives by and the passenger throws a sandwich at me and yells “Fuck you sand Nigger,” well, then its personal. Then we have stripped the shame away from society.

Ironically, that is exactly what happened in the Middle East over the past 30 years. First, was economic decline, and a widening gap between ultra rich and poor. The middle class was stressed, and pushed almost to extinction. People felt like their leaders had failed them and abused them. Angry voices in the mob got louder and more organized and whipped crowds into frenzies while railing upon all the outside groups "responsible" for their misery. It happened in Germany, it happened in the Middle East, and it is happening here.

We should be careful when we open Pandora’s box, when we accept bigoted overtones as jocularity.

In Islam, in the Qur’an, we are taught that (to paraphrase), God made us different so that we can learn from each other. "O mankind! We created you from a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes that you may know and honor each other (not that you should despise one another). Indeed the most honorable of you in the sight of God is the most righteous." Chapter 49, Verse 13

Maybe we should hope for more Muslims running for President, not fewer.

Update: Here is a saddening interview with sweet, earnest, elderly woman with an awfully distorted worldview who asked McCain about Obama being Arab, which McCain refuted by saying that no, Obama is not Arab but rather that Obama is a decent man and a citizen. Because, you know who are not decent men and citizens? Here is the link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-uptake/mccain-responds-to-arab-a_b_133820.html.

Keyword: MIDDLE CLASS

2008-10-08T17:09:00.000-07:00

The Presidential debate has done me in. I don't give a damn who you think won. I don't give a damn who won. I don't give a damn about wall street, main street, or any street. I don't care who O'Drama's friends are. I have never run a background check on any of my friends, have you? I don't care if Moose Barbie winks, or McDaddy has a temper. What the hell happened to what really matters. The middle class....remember them???

I don't have a single friend who has not had someone in their direct family laid off.....I give a damn about them. I know tons of people that are so in debt, they are beyond drowning....I give a damn about that. I give a damn about the way schools have stopped teaching and base their entire class curriculum around a stupid test. I give a damn that my electric bill is higher than my car payment. I give a damn that our family spends about $600 monthly on gas alone to get around. I give a damn that my 401K is now worthless. I give a damn that Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, and insurance is one big mess. I give a damn that a bag of onions at the local store cost me 8 bucks. I give a damn about the tuition I will never have for my kids college education. I give a damn about the victims of Katrina, Gustav, and Ike, who still have not received the aid they deserve while our money is spent on wars and bailouts.

For heavens sake! One thing is for sure the "people" haven't won. We are watching as our nation, the greatest nation on earth, is falling apart and the big question on TV is who won the debate???? When is someone going to ask the real tough questions. When is someone going to point out the obvious....we are screwed...we are destroying the base of this country, Yep....the middle class. Then, when is somebody going to do anything about it?

IKE

2008-09-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

Ever since Ramadan started my head hurts. I'm even up at midnight with a cup of coffee in my hand. It is all I crave. Ramadan is tough specially with IKE coming through. This past week has been hell and I wish it was just the food that made it so bad. We lost our electricity and the heat did me in. I swear I got so bloated. My body retained water like a plump chicken. My joints stopped moving and I am still walking with a limp. It took Osameh several days to get to us and I was cooked by then. The minute he arrived our bags were packed and we drove to Seguin (the only place we could get a room). You would think we arrived at Disney Land the way the kids were excited over the air conditioning. We slept for like 12 hours. We went home hoping to find our electricity back but we were not that lucky. So after we couldn't take the heat, we found another room, this time in the double tree galleria, and stayed till we did get power back. I have to say I felt like we were going through Katrina, not IKE. People were acting like maniacs. The hotel had to call the police several times because people were throwing things off the balconies, running down the halls, and disturbing others. I took a picture of westheimer traffic (the pic is sideways). It was horrendous!

I am looking forward to starting class this week. I am taking a writing class at Rice. I also landed a J-O-B!!!! I am still keeping the lid on it though because I don't need anyone to jinx it. I will fill in the blanks when I get everything finalized.

Hurricane Shaden

2008-08-31T21:14:00.000-07:00

I am so angry today. Well, I'm almost always angry but today I'm about to completely lose my mind! Tomorrow is Ramadan and I know how difficult it is going to be. Tonight I went to the Mosque to pray and a group of kids just ran around playing tag. Of course I couldn't stop praying to yell at them but when that set of prayers ended another lady had pretty much beat me to the punch. It didn't stop me. I ripped into those little brats and then their moms. How dare they?? It is supposed to be a time of prayer and meditation. I kept messing up and to be honest I lost the spirit so I went home.
I'm also pretty depressed about Gustav. I feel really heartbroken for the people who went back, invested their emotions, fiances, and hope into rebuilding. Now it may all be gone. Osameh just added to my depression because he just kept calling people he knew (his customers) and telling me each story in detail of how this hurricane was going to screw up their lives. How sad.
School has barely started and the kids already have a three day weekend. Something is just not right with that. They are driving me crazy. They even followed me into the shower today and that is usually the only place I have any peace. I am going to stay up all night tonight so I can sleep all day tomorrow. I can care less about the food (I know I don't look like it) but I can't live with out coffee. I already know I am going to get a caffeine headache. UGhhhhh.....I can't wait till this torture ends!

Interview

2008-08-27T16:05:00.000-07:00

I have to first say that I really wanted to post on the first day of school (Monday) to celebrate my freedom but I was busy actually celebrating...so here is the next best thing.
The kids went back to school Monday and it felt great to get some things done. Afif came home in tears because apparently his teacher didn't teach him to read as promised and then she had the gaul to put him in the book area for activity time. He was so angry because it took her, and I quote, "1000 million minutes to take him to lunch." God forbid he misses a meal and loses a pound. He complained about not having nap time, not that he ever takes one. It was so funny. He was angry, his arms were trying to express his frustration, his tears were falling, then when I told him I would speak to his teacher he went quiet. Then he said in a voice I could hardly hear, "OK, I guess it's time to tell the truth." Apparently all that was a figment of his imagination. I am raising a maniac.
Jeneane had a great time. She has 5 male teachers. What's up with that??? I'm not sexist but I only had two my entire 12 years in school. Apparently that's the "in" profession.
I had an interview today and it was funny how nervous I was. I'm usually real laid back but I was really excited about this job. I hope it works out. I will fill you all in next week if I hear anything.

MOP

2008-08-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

If you have been listening to me whine all summer about swim team, swim team practice, swim team coaches, swim team this and swim team that, then you know how much I despise anything to do with swimming. Well, like the summer torture didn't do it for me, I am really asking for it because I just registered Jeneane for a year round torture process, I mean team.

Believe it or not I am excited. Jeneane is getting good. I mean sometimes it is hard for me to watch her because I am so competitive and she is so darn laid back. I'm screaming from the sidelines and getting hemorrhoids from the strain and she's floating on by like she is there just to work on her tan. But sometimes, just sometimes, you see the light in her eyes and she actually swims like I know she can and guess what....she comes in second or third and I'm the crazy mom doing handstands!!!

We are winding the summer down and getting ready for school. I still can't get the kids in bed anytime before midnight. I'm actually going to try and slip them some Tylenol PM tonight.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention the best news of all. My house actually got cleaned today. The housekeeper is back from vacation. This is so gross but I have to tell. She came to my house with her own mop (from her house). I'm like "what the hell is that?" She says she doesn't want to use my mop because it's too fancy. I freaked out. Can you imagine? What the hell is wrong with people....like I want her nasty mop on my floors. OK...now you know.

Something To Do

2008-08-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

I am running around like a chicken with her head cut off. The girls from the sleepover didn't go home till about 3 (here I was thinking I'd be done by 10).

I went to Home Depot and picked up the things I needed to get my few projects around the house started. I put up the shelves in the garage. I fixed the hole in the wall (a result of my last temper tantrum). I replaced the toilet handle in the master bathroom. I replaced the light cover in the kids bathroom (I broke that too). Oh, and finally, I sanded and stained the shelves for the new cabinet. Did I mention the three loads of laundry ....... I so need a vacation!

Today, I have to go buy the tables for the family room. I also have to prepare something special for Osameh for when he gets home tomorrow (if he comes home tomorrow). He's the one in Miami and I'm making HIM something special??....something is wrong with this picture.

Back to School Parties

2008-08-11T20:15:00.000-07:00

I know what you are thinking, we didn't have these in our days. Yep, you're right, we didn't. I used to cry when I was reminded the summer was almost over. No one ever threw a party (maybe they did and I wasn't invited). Yesterday we had a great get together for Afif and his friends. I think I had more fun than Afif did. He woke up real early because he was excited and by the time the party ended he was tired and fussy.

Today was Jeneane's big day. She invited her friends and she had a whole schedule going. I told her no one could come until my Turkish Soaps (yes, I'm that obsessed) were over, so the girls got here around 6:30. They headed to the pool till 8:30 then had a balloon fight till 9:00. They just went upstairs with two movies and some pizza. It's so cute. They talked about how they hate boys (I hope that lasts for a few more years) and complained about teachers, and giggled.

Afif built a fort in the middle of the playroom to let them know who is boss. They had to beg him to use the room and when he finally agreed we had to relocate his fort to my room where he will only let me in with permission and a secret word. It looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch today.

Osameh called from Miami five times reminding me to lock the doors and hide the keys. I don't know what he thinks is going to happen. All these stories on CNN have turned him into a crazy freak.

All I know is, I have a pancake breakfast to cook and I'm home free.....

John Edwards

2008-08-08T17:10:00.004-07:00

I can't begin to express how disgusted I am with former Senator Edwards for his infidelity. I try not to write about political issues but sometimes I just get the right kind of inspiration. Maybe I can send the bastard a thank you note.

Dear John Edwards,
You make me sick. Just when I thought that humanity could sink no lower you came out with your inspiring confession. Those 400 dollar haircuts must have gotten to your empty head. You could have at least found a better looking woman. Heck, Clinton did better with Monica (maybe you need to call him for some advise). Fat as she was, at least we could say she had a nice face. In fact, maybe the two of you could get together and swap some stories. Bush may have screwed the world but I officially give the idiot some credit for not screwing his wife while she is getting chemo. Bravo, you've out done him and believe me, that is really hard to do. I just have to remind you before I go, what goes around comes around. I just hope it comes around at about 100 MPH and that right before the light flashes before your eyes, you remember the sweet woman and those lovely children you betrayed.

Galleria

2008-08-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

I need a new look. I need something extreme and exciting in my life. I bought some stuff to color my hair but I don't think that's going to cut it. I was watching T.V. today and I realized I wanted to look like one of those Syrian actresses. I need to get a ticket to Syria and find one of their infamous plastic surgeons to do some of the handy work that seems to be popping up all over the place.

Maybe I can lease an expensive purse and do what my friend Reem did. She leased, yes leased, a purse from a site called beg borrow or something like that. She got the "Galleria" which is a purse from Sex and The City. The purse is a Louis Vuitton. She leased it and then went to the Louis Vuitton Store and showed it off. She said it gave her a real high. That purse has made her so happy it sits next to her on the passenger side with the seat belt on. I need that kind of excitement. She's even buying a new car that will look better with the purse. That's what positive change looks like.

I guess I'll start with a vision board. Maybe that will inspire a positive and exciting change to my dull life. Maybe I'll meet the Gecko from Geico and we'll fall in love. Or maybe I can just lease him.

Hurricane

2008-08-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

Several months ago I signed up for a free service that AOL provides. Basically they send out text messages with up to date weather information when there is a threat. Well, as you all know, we are supposed to be getting a hurricane by tomorrow evening. Now, every five minutes, I get a freaking text message letting me know the darn positioning of the hurricane or tropical storm. Even if I wasn't nervous (which I am not), getting a zillion text messages with the exact location of the tropical storm is starting to make me edgy. Last night it woke me up a hundred times till I finally crawled out of bed and turned the phone off for some relief.
I'm canceling the service tomorrow.

Dallas

2008-08-02T07:23:00.000-07:00

We took a short vacation to Dallas last week. It was really last minute but Osama was going for a last minute meeting and I kind of invited myself to tag along (with the kids and Mom). The hotel we stayed in was awesome. The Hilton Anatole had so many different pieces of art and collectibles. The kids really enjoyed walking around and exploring. Actually, we took more pictures at the hotel than we did anywhere else.

I got to see my brother and Sandy. No, that's not his wife, it's his squirrel. He named her Sandy after the squirrel on Spongebob. She is adorable. About five minutes into my visit to his apartment my asthma and allergies kicked in. My nose started running and my eyes watering. I guess with that many animals, it's always allergy season in his home.

Our sleeping arrangement was pathetic. All night long we kept moving around. Osama found this so entertaining he kept giggling till 4 a.m. Then he got up, started turning the lights on and off and singing happy birthday to my mom. The kids got up thinking we were going to have a party. We didn't get any rest or sleep.

The next day Osama, Mom, and I headed to the executive lounge (the benefit of all those traveling points) and of course people sit around networking. This guy starts a conversation with Osama, who without sleep turns into a mess, and asks him what he does. Osama said he works for IBM or "The big blue". The man got so excited, "I do so much business with IBM. What do you do for IBM?" Osama says, "you know that security guy who opens the gate?" The guy now looks confused and mom and I are laughing our bums off. "Yeah," the guy hesitates. "That's me. I'm security guard there." Needless to say that conversation ended quickly.

I am posting my favortie pics.....enjoy!

Sketcher Airators

2008-07-21T22:40:00.000-07:00

Last year Afif was obsessed with Nike. Cole, his school buddy and self admitted tennis shoe expert, told him they were the coolest and so they were. Osameh went out and bought him a pair which he wore pretty religiously till Cole told him New Balance were better. Then the pair of Nike shoes were sent to the back of the closet to live out the rest of their stinky life. I refused to let Osameh buy him a pair of New Balance because I didn't know where this was going to end.

Then his birthday came around and he told his grandma that he wanted a pair of Sketchers Airators. She finally took him out to get them and he even knew which pair they were at the store. I didn't realize how knowledgeable he was. He knew the colors they came in and how the air was supposed to keep his feet cool. I hate to say this but they are so darn ugly. I almost wish Cole could talk him into a pair of New Balance.

I See

2008-07-19T19:33:00.000-07:00

The lasik went beautifully. Doc January was literally singing 4 Minutes To Save The World as he did my procedure. I would have sang along but I was too busy mumbling my prayers. He said I looked like I was walking to my cell in Auschwitz when he called my name. I was scared out of my wits. Now I have to prepare myself for the tummy tuck (I wish). I can't even believe how well I see. I have to wear these goggles to sleep that make me look like I am going skiing not sleeping.

Osameh is finally home. Afif took him aside and then came back and said, "Mom, I told him everything." Ahhhhhh, what is that supposed to mean? I suddenly felt like I did something wrong. That little spy filled him in. I just don't know on what. Now I have to blackmail him into telling me.

Mom and I started a diet. I don't want to jinx it, but we have been on the salad diet for four days. I of course have not lost anything yet, but I feel more and more like a rabbit and less and less like a cow eating all these vegetables.

Lasik

2008-07-16T20:49:00.000-07:00

Finally! I am scheduled for Lasik on Friday. I can't imagine waking up on Saturday with perfect sight but I'm a nervous wreck. What if they screw up? You should see the darn disclosure packet I had to sign. My sister is taking me at 3. If there are no more posts in a few days, it will probably be because they screwed my eyes up.
We are finally done with swimming. I pitched a fit yesterday at the meet because my daughter and her coach pissed me off. I know she is not the greatest swimmer but anyone who knows me, knows I don't take failure lightly. I don't care if she loses a race, but I do care if she doesn't try. Well, in the prelims everyone is supposed to try each stroke regardless of ability. Well, the coach tells Jeneane not to bother with the breast stroke and Jeneane ok's it. I almost had a heart attack. How dare she? I hate the attitude of defeat specially before you are even defeated. I am there, sitting in hell, marshalling kids for the sake of my daughter and she tells her not to bother?? Hellloooooo! I was so angry. I got up and went to the car, and waited till the meet was over. I tore into Jeneane for accepting what the coach told her, then I sent the coach a very ugly email last night. I will update you if I get a reply. I'm dying to hear her explanation.

Paranormal

2008-07-15T20:27:00.000-07:00

I'm addicted. I can't stop watching anything to do with the paranormal. I watch Ghost Hunters, Paranormal State, and The Haunting. I know all the terms they use like EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon), and apparitions. I know the most haunted sites in the United States. I know about all the tools they use. I get on their sites. I'm a certified paranormal nut. After each show I'm just dying to whip out a Ouija board and get in touch with the closest lost soul. I guess I thought by watching I could become the next expert (it's the unemployment, it's starting to get to my head).

So today I was walking up the stairs thinking about this stuff when the light in the entry way starts to flicker. I freaked out and almost had a heart attack. I ran to my room and locked the door. I guess my assumed ghost can't walk through doors. I can't use the bathroom with the door shut (the kids are freaking out). I can't take a shower unless there is someone in the room (so if Osameh is out of town and you smell something don't comment). I can't sleep (so I stole mom's Ambien). I am so going to think twice before my next addiction, that is, if the ghosts don't get me first.

Sleep Over

2008-07-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

It's taken me an entire day to recuperate after the meet. God didn't forget me though. I prayed it would rain on Monday and it rained, but apparently I wasn't specific enough. It rained five minutes before the meet finished and it rained for a whole two minutes. Considering how hot it was out there, I was grateful for every drop.

There was one chunky girl who, with every dive, belly flopped and sprayed everyone around. I am not putting down the girl (I weigh more than she does) but every time it was her turn to swim I would run next to the pool hoping she hit the water hard enough that she would spray me as well. I swear I contemplated acting like I accidentally fell in and just tripping into the pool, but Jeneane would have been so embarrassed.

I went to my sister's house yesterday because Afif has wanted to spend the night there and I didn't know if he would last through the whole night. We had a great time and I even got to take a two hour hike with my sister and the dog. About an hour and a half after the hike it started to occur to me that she may not know the way home. I threatened to call mom and have her pick me up but I was too far away from any road. I was so happy when I finally saw a street until I realized how far we were from home. I should have tied my sister to a post but I'm too afraid of her so I just walked.

I spent the day getting ready for Osameh and Afif's Birthday. Osameh is a day before Afif and Afif is having a party on Saturday. I went all out and bought a cake which will be the envy of all five year old boys. I'm so excited, it feels like my birthday not his.

The Roach

2008-07-06T09:41:00.000-07:00

Another roach made its way in our home last night. I was upstairs folding laundry and all of a sudden Jeneane and Afif start screaming bloody murder. Osameh runs downstairs like a maniac thinking someone broke in and finds the big guy running on the wall. These tree roaches are frustrating. Jeneane stopped eating her steak; she said she was too disgusted to eat after seeing the roach. Had I known how effective that was in making her stop eating I would have hung a picture of one on the pantry and refrigerator doors. Afif ran up stairs, put on a Spiderman mask, grabbed a bat, and ran downstairs to hide behind the couch. Some superhero he is. When Osameh finally killed the darn thing Afif came out swinging.

I went to my friends wedding on Thursday. It was not a wedding party, just the vows at the mosque. I messed up during prayers because the wedding was at a Shiite mosque and I am Sunni. Apparently we pray differently (I didn’t know that). The Sheikh’s wife didn’t know I was from a different sect. She assumed I was messing up because I didn’t know how to pray so she volunteered to teach me. I took it with a grain of salt but she called me yesterday to ask when a good time was for me to learn. I felt bad letting her down. She seemed offended. Then she tried to recruit me. Needless to say the conversation did not go well after that.

Tomorrow we have another swim meet. I volunteered (I don’t know if you can call it that since they force us to) to marshall the kids. After a month and a half of summer I can barely stand to marshall my own kids. I will let you know how it goes after I spend the day roasting in hell. Please God, let it rain.

Things you can do with your hands while driving

2008-07-02T08:10:00.001-07:00

OK....here is the deal. I keep hearing about the laws against cell phone use and I got to wondering...what else can a person do with their hands that the government should outlaw? The government has been in our business when it comes to everything else, why not add a selection of our own laws?? I will start but I want some serious feedback because I know everyone of us has seen someone doing something outrageous.

1. Outlaw nose picking.

(I will post answers in a list when I get enough)

DAD

2008-07-01T07:11:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about my Dad this morning. I got a phone call from one of those survey groups and as usual I was curious enough to say OK. I guess I like someone, or should I say anyone, asking my opinion (it's what happens if you are out of work for a while). Anyhow, the man asks me if I work. I said "yes, homemaker." He replies with, "housekeeper?" I couldn't help it but I said, "yes, housekeeper." Why not? I sure felt like one after the 5 loads of laundry I had to wake up early to do. That's when I remembered my dad. He was filling out some kind of document that asked his job position and my mom's. He writes in what he does and in the space for my mom he wrote housekeeper instead of Homemaker. She went ballistic.

He always had these quirky little things that he did that drove my mom nuts but always made us laugh. I remember her nagging him about calling an attorney for something. She would ask him everyday if he called and then finally, after a week or so, she asked him why he wasn't calling. He turned around, with the most innocent look, and said, "I am afraid to call him and not find him in the office." She almost killed him.

I hated getting in the car with him because he always got into accidents. One year for Eid Prayer (Muslim version of Christmas) he got so angry with me when he overheard me telling my mom he drove like a maniac. You see the word maniac means you are nuts in English but in Arabic it is a very bad word. I was speaking in English but he took it in the Arabic way and got so mad at me he literally flew off the handle. He took my mom and headed out the door and my brother and I finished our breakfast and left about a half an hour later. On our way to prayer there was so much traffic. When we finally got to the source of the traffic, it was my dad. Someone had rear ended him. It wasn't his fault but I still remember his face when he saw us passing. He pointed at me and at the exist. That meant I better not stop.
It was so funny. I could actually write ten posts about the creative accidents he would have.

I think about him a lot. Not that he has ever left me for a second. I watch his favorite shows on TV. I read from his books. I pray that God is taking good care of him. More than anything, I see him in myself. When most women become more and more like their mothers, I think that I am one of those that has become more and more like her dad. I miss you Dad.

Drama Queen

2008-06-28T12:06:00.000-07:00

Why is it every time Jeneane wants to make friends I get anxiety attacks? I start to feel like a rejected kid and I have flashbacks of sitting alone on the playground while everyone chases the boy who looks like Dumbo. Jeneane makes everything out to be such a dramatic event that I literally get sick to my stomach. I think I may suffer from issues of rejection.
It is not the same thing with Afif. He makes friends easily. As far as he is concerned everyone, including Jeneane's friends, are his friends as well. He greets everyone. Even when he doesn't know their names he gives them names.
The other day he kept begging me to take him for a walk around the block. I was already exhausted cleaning out his toys but I finally relented and we headed out. About 8 or 9 houses down he greets a guy coming out of the house with "Hi very tall man with a big fat stomach." The man got so upset (which I don't blame him for) but he turned around and said "Look who is talking. You look like you may need a little weight off on your own stomach." I stood there apologizing for what seemed like forever and I dragged Afif home by the ear.
The next day we went to Baskin Robins and he said hello to a woman who had apparently had her face laser peeled probably that day. He tried to hold it in. I saw it on his face. He did pretty well for a while. On the way out, just when I was beginning to think I was in the clear, he said, "Goodbye lady with the burnt face." Needless to say I almost died.
I'm heading out right now. I'm taking the drama queen out to see Kung Fu Panda with a new friend. I'm not even out the door yet and I feel like my nerves are frazzled. I am posting my picture. I think I was almost the same age as Jeneane in this pic.

Mrs. Bairds

2008-06-27T18:34:00.000-07:00

I took mom walking at the mall again today. I think this walking thing is going to be devastating to my diet. I couldn't resist the mocha chocalata thing from Cinnabon today. It was there, looking nice and cold. I also almost bought a cinnamon roll. It took everything in my will power to resist and if i go back tomorrow I am going to get one. The rolls on my stomach are going to look like they were baked by Mrs. Bairds.

The kids are driving me to the edge of insanity. All day long Jeneane whined and complained about having to stay home. I know, it just must be so tragic to spend a day at home. Afif knows exactly what drives her nuts and he just eats at her till she is screaming at the top of her lungs. It is so bad Osameh finally decided it would be wise to leave town. So bad in fact that he is heading to Waco tonight. He is even already planning his trip to Memphis for next week. I think the bottom line is that I need a job so I can leave home too. This unemployed, stay at home mom gig is coming to an end. The grey hair in my head is multiplying and now that I am not formally employed (the government doesn't count homemaker as a position), I can't really afford to get my hair colored as often.

Tomorrow I have a friend coming over and I am heading to IKEA with mom. I figure since I hate their food it would be a good place to take her to walk. You like my strategy??

I finally put a counter on my site to see if anyone is reading my blog. I am getting a few hits a day. It is so much fun to write but if I am going to try to make a small living from this I need more exposure. So here it is...please spread the word and pass the link to this site to anyone you know....your buddies at work...your friends, if you have any, and your family. I almost forgot.. I would also love comments. It would make me feel important.

The Bird

2008-06-26T15:10:00.000-07:00

My Housekeeper (I love that way that sounds), came in and cleaned up yesterday. The house looked so nice. That lasted a whole hour because chaos reins in our home. Osameh has been home a lot and that has more to do with it than the kids being home.

The housekeeper also left a mark this week. She broke the sink stopper in my bathroom and my shower door. She could actually break anything she likes if she still cleans the bathrooms. She has already broken a vase stand, a vacuum cleaner, 4 mops, 2 brooms, and a toilet handle. A small cost compared to me having to scrub a tub.

My brother has a new animal, a bird of some type. He sent me a picture, which I will post. I am sorry but it doesn't even resemble a bird. I won't say what it resembles, you can post your own thoughts on that.

The Meet

2008-06-23T20:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I prayed it would rain today so that Jeneane's swim meet would get cancelled. Well, it rained and instead of getting cancelled we ended up getting stuck sitting under tents waiting for the clouds to pass. I guess the phrase "be careful what you ask for" fits.
Jeneane has my cruddy luck. In one of the races she got fourth place when there were only three swimmers. I told her even the person that didn't show did better. She has a sense of humor though. She did get third place in one of the relays. I was so excited I screamed like a little girl.
What I can't get is how much junk food they sell at these meets. The girls usually race in five races and in between they consume more junk food than truckers on a cross country trip. They also have people selling frozen drinks, nachos, burgers, and sausages on a stick. It just seems like it is more about the money than the kids. I remember when I was in swimming we were not allowed to have sodas or junk food. I remember my coach being very specific about what we were and were not allowed to eat.
Anyhow, I'm passed worn out and since I have already taken two Tylenol and two Excedrin for the headache the kids caused, I think I am going to hit the sack.

George Carlin

2008-06-23T07:53:00.001-07:00

I am beyond heart broken this morning. I just found out the George Carlin passed away. He was not only my favorite comedian, he was my favorite philosopher.

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...

...and you finish off as an ******.” George Carlin

May he rest in peace.

The Lizard

2008-06-21T22:00:00.001-07:00

Last month we had a serious problem with tree roaches. Those are the really big ones that come in from the outside. Once I see one the only thing I can do is scream at the top of my lungs. The hair on my neck stands just thinking about them...Yuk!
I called Terminex and they came out and sprayed twice. Osameh also bought some stuff from Home Depot and sprayed but they were not going to be deterred. The housekeeper found three of them, one under my bed. I quit sleeping there. Then the lawn guy came by and told me the only way to get rid of them was to get rid of the bushes and for $200 dollars he did the deed.
Well, I didn't care what it took. The day the bushes came out they were all over the place. Chuy, the lawn guy, found their nest and Osameh sprayed the mulch with boric acid (it is supposed to eat through their shells).
I know...you are thinking "what the hell is she telling us this for??"
Well, I got rid of them. I have been feeling really at ease knowing they are gone, even though I just got a letter from the homeowners association wondering what I plan to do with the landscaping. I was just telling Osameh what a relief it is not to be wondering where the next roach will be and I headed to the restroom. I sit down, and something, just something, tells me to look at the toilet seat. I get up and peek, and I still don't know why I got up, but I found a freaking lizard. AHHHH!
The ugly thing jumps at me and I run out screaming and shaking. Osameh had to come in and kill it. I am still traumatized.
How am I going to get rid of the lizards?

Respect the pouch. Respect it!!!

2008-06-20T16:01:00.000-07:00

I am just settling in trying to do a little writing. Osameh is in his boxers watering the grass and himself. The little thing he does with the hose is insane. Afif is standing at the window watching him. Even he is a little embarrassed. Osameh is scaring the neighbors. He thinks just because he is on his property he doesn't have to wear a shirt or shorts. We are going to be known as the family with the weird dad. Thank goodness Jeneane is not home.
The Lawn guy, Chuy, came while Osameh was doing his little dance with the hose. He pretended he didn't see him but he turned around and ran back to the truck. I actually think Osameh was happy about that. He gets to save 30 bucks.
Afif watched a Capri Sun commercial that inspired him. I am posting the link to the commercial here. The boy blows the pouch up then jumps on it. The difference is that the pouch in the commercial is empty and the one at home still had juice in it. It exploded all over my walls. It probably isn't too smart to write what I did to him online.
Here is the link to the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S_Ayy31_UY

Oh, I forgot to mention that I got a picture of Osameh before the pants came off. I don't mind the feedback...lol

YaYa

2008-06-19T21:48:00.000-07:00

I had a great day today. I finally had a chance to do the hike with Coco (my sister). Of course the only reason that worked was because it was not planned. It was beautiful. I took a picture of the deer (actually several), but I was a little afraid to get too close. My sister guides me into this hiking trail then, when we are too far in, she tells me the sun is coming down and the wild pigs come out and attack at night. Then she turns around and starts running (mind you she's the one with the Akita and tennis shoes). I run like a maniac in flip flops hoping I make it back to a road before I'm trampled by pigs.

My Mom is doing well after her surgery. She uses a little contraption that is supposed to expand her lung and exercise it. She breathes in the air and it measures how much her lung can inhale. She was using it today and it makes her sound like Darth Vader. "Shaden.....I am your mother." Actually, the way she inhales reminds me of smoking. Man, I am dying for a cigarette!

Osameh is reaching the end of his rope with my Turkish soaps. He spent the evening shouting expletives and throwing hand gestures at the TV. You should have seen his expression when my eyes started to water at the romance between Yaya and Lemees. I purposely oooh and aahhh over everything he does because it makes Osameh crazy. He said this was the last night he was going to put up with my addiction. He marched upstairs mumbling under his breath. I personally think he is a little jealous of Yaya.

By the way, YaYa is not the characters name. It is merely a nickname I gave him. My sister thinks Yaya is a jerk but I totally think he is adorable. I am going to skip the picture of the deer and post his instead. Please, stop drooling!!!

Stop Demonizing my Religion!!!

2008-06-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

I am so tired of hearing about the so called rumors that Barak Obama is a Muslim. I am even more tired of his speeches proclaiming he is not. Most of all, I am sickened by the claim today, that his staff asked two different Muslim women on two separate occasions not to be on stage behind him during a speech. He should be so honored. I may not be a perfect Muslim, or a perfect anything at that, but what I am is proud. From the way things are going now, we will become even more demonized than with the Bush administration. Demonized in the same way that black men are demonized even today. Can you imagine how it feels to the many black men who have people moving to the other end of the road merely because they fear the color of their skin?

I volunteered for your campaign as a precinct captain. I worked my tush off knocking on doors and calling family and friends, most of whom are Muslim, to come and help me teach people to make their voices heard, to teach them to vote. I argued with people who said they would never vote for a black man, and there were many. You campaign accepted my help without noticing my religion.

I am disappointed to say the least. I won't be voting for you this election or any other. I am an American, Mr. Obama. I am one who loves her country and her religion as well. I won't be standing around while anyone, Muslim, Christian, or even Jew gets pushed around and quite frankly......you seem to be representing the same hypocrisy I thought you stood against.

Weight Loss

2008-06-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

Even as I sit here watching CNN this morning I see another person who dramatically lost some serious weight. Struggle is an understatement. Maybe I am a little moody because it is that great time of the month but it seems to me that no matter what I try I can't seem to get any weight off.
One lady, according to CNN, changed her habit of driving to work and started to take the subway and walk the 1/4 mile to work from the subway stop. She lost 40lbs. I run around like a maniac all day long. I do 100 loads of laundry that I have to haul up the stairs because the idiot who designed the house was a man. No woman in her right mind wants to bring the laundry downstairs, wash it, run it upstairs, and put it away. Anyway, back to the the point. I also cook, clean, grocery shop, work out, bathe the kids, and run them around. I've stopped eating anything I like, and for heavens sake, I haven't been able to lose a pound.
I've tried everything from Slim fast to NutriSystem (yuk!!) and my weight won't budge.

As you can tell, I'm really fussy today but as usual, the one part of the day that I plan with my sister just doesn't work out. Two days ago she called me to tell me about the area behind her house that she takes her dog hiking through. She told me about the deer, the wild pigs, and the rabbits. I was sold. We made plans to spend a couple of hours together walking the trail yesterday but God himself intercepted with a not so gentle storm. I know we needed rain, but did it have to be right then?? Anyway, when the storm finally passed we persisted and walked through the mud where all I could think about were the snakes having an easier time moving around in all that water.

I'm totally exhausted but I have a full day today. I look forward for this day to be over.

San Antonio

2008-06-14T19:38:00.000-07:00

I am always picking on Osameh about his hairy body when we go on vacation. A few summers ago we went to our favorite place in Rhode Island, a small private beach in Westerly. My husband took his shirt off and scared the beach goers. I begged him to put a shirt on but I will never do that again after what we saw in San Antonio this weekend. I wish I took a picture but Osameh wouldn't let me. We stayed at the Palacio del Rio Hilton and the kids wanted to swim at the outdoor pool overlooking the river walk. It was beautiful but I wish I could say I was looking at the right scenery.

There were a group of very hair...no I mean VERY HAIRY men with some really hot women. It was out of an episode of cavemen. Next to them Osameh looked bare and he knew it. I couldn't stop staring, I was overwhelmed. I could see the excitement in Osameh's eyes. I guess he finally felt like he fit in. For the rest of the time we were in San Antonio he walked around with his shirt half open and his chest hair all over the place. He kept saying "see, I told you hot women like men with hair." For once I was speechless. I even came home and looked to see if there was such a thing as a hairy man convention. Maybe that is what that was.

The kids had a great time, specially at the Hard Rock Cafe. Jeneane loved the music videos blaring all over the place and Afif loved all the memorabilia on the walls. I loved the Mercado, or Market, and the Witte Museum was not too bad either.

I also discovered something totally cool. Every McDonald you pass has a Red DVD rental kiosk. You can actually rent a movie from any location and return it anywhere else. That was great for the trip. We brought our portable DVD player and rented movies as we went and replaced them anywhere we wanted. That is just something to keep in mind.

Another Summer Day

2008-06-12T06:20:00.000-07:00

So I dragged Jeneane to the belly dance class and we had a great time. Veronica, the instructor, came up with a few new moves, the most important of which is the scoop. This is when you use your hip in a scooping motion. She said to pretend our body was a scoop and that we were using it to scoop ice cream. So, as you may imagine, with all the practice I've had with ice cream, I got that move down quickly.

Today is Afif's last day in swim class and I am grateful to have one less obligation.

Jeneane got together with her friends and did the whole movie, pizza, and popcorn thing. It was fun but Afif got really riled up and wanted to show off in front of the girls. It was hysterical. We all got in the car to go get some ice cream (see, I told you I have lots of experience) and the girls were singing so he busted out making dance moves and acting like he was some kind of rocker. I literally stopped the car and taped him. I am putting the video here because I can't get over how funny he looks.

On a sad note, our neighbors are gone and we are left heartbroken. We wish them well but they really have left an empty spot in our hearts. I also pray they make their way safely to Ohio. We will truly miss them.

Hair Cut

2008-06-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

Although I have not been able to lose a pound exercising, I melted one away yesterday at Jeneane's swim meet. When I signed her up for swimming I had no idea I was going to be spending 8 hours every Monday in the Houston hell. Afif and I look like pumpkin patch kids (remember those???).

I couldn't figure out what those moms were on. They had pictures of their kids on buttons all over their shirts, their hair done, and huge Sugar Land mom smiles on their faces. To add insult to injury we were on the clean up crew and by 10p.m., believe me, you have no idea what you are picking up off the grass. It was disgusting. My skin was charred, my hands were sticky, I could smell my body odor, and I was exhausted. I have never been happier to come home.

The big news for the day was not the meet. Afif wanted a Mohawk so I took him in to get one. Okay, so I almost gave Osameh a heart attack but he is sooooo cute.

Family Curse

2008-06-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to write because Mom went in to have surgery and I got the flu the same day. My sister and I have a running joke about a family curse. Anytime we plan something it doesn't happen (vacations, outings, projects) and we happily attribute it to our family name. Ironically, my father changed our last name to simplify the pronunciation but I changed mine back and now the name and curse seem to be following me around. Let me give you few examples:

* The hospital lost power and the lights went out during Mom's surgery.
* When she was admitted to ICU after the surgery the first nurse we see is the one who was with my Dad the first night he was in ICU and bled out. This is a different hospital that we chose so that we did have to use the same staff as the hospital my father stayed in for 5 1/2 months before his death.
*The second day we saw the meanest nurse my father had on staff, and that evening my Mom was surprised (not really) to see the nurse who attended my Dad the day he passed away. Needless to say she couldn't sleep at night.

So as you can see all these coincidences are hard to ignore. The good news out of all this is that the surgery, regardless of the curse, was a complete success. I guess after all we had been through last year with Dad we hadn't planned on that.

Last Day of School

2008-06-05T14:52:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day for what little freedom I manage to get. Jeneane and her friend are heading to the strip mall next to her school where about a hundred kids typically congregate on Fridays. I remember in our days it was the Sears Surplus parking lot, but even then it was a high school hang out and not a middle school thing. By the way, I never was invited to hang out there. In about a decade or two, elementary students will put their foot down and get their own place as well.

I went to my belly dance class today. I talked the instructor (Veronica)into letting me take her picture for the blog. My friends talked me out of a group picture. Who the hell wants to see a group of fat women shaking their blubber anyway? I am hoping the Houston heat melts some of it off this summer. It's only June and it was 97 degrees today. Did I mention I ate a whole watermelon today??

I am spending tomorrow in the hospital with Mom. She has a surgery scheduled and I promised to spend the night. This may sound pathetic but I am sadly looking forward to taking a break from the kids and having them torture Osameh for a change.

Cell Phone

2008-06-03T22:06:00.000-07:00

The heat didn't keep me home today. I skipped my dance class but I was trying very hard to find a few T-shirts to buy before the heat gets any worse and I have nothing to wear. I tried Target but my mom kept pulling me to the back where they kept maternity clothes and trying to explain to me that even women who are not pregnant could get away with wearing these clothes. I get it....I'm fat and she's trying to be diplomatic in her own way. I bought a pack of chips and a cold coke to make me feel better but my butt didn't find anything that really fit. Thank God Afif's swim class was about to begin.
I wish I could say that I paid any attention to him or Danny (my nephew in the same class), but I was busy watching my Mom dish it out with her phone. She spent the class screaming at her phone. No, not to the person on the other line. At the phone itself. "Amira!" She would scream. The phone (supposedly programmed to recognize her voice) would not cooperate. "S-a-m-i." The phone would answer back. "No! Amira!" she would yell over and over. "M-o." The phone would answer. After a while she slamed the phone down because now the keypad locked and wouldn't open. Of course she was loud enough that the rest of the parents couldn't stop staring.
I have to go out and buy her a cell phone, less complicated to use, before she ends up in anger management because of that damn thing. She gets nervous and starts to suffer from hot flashes and mumbles things under her tongue over and over again. Another week and she'll have a nervous breakdown.
I'll leave you with one happy little picture of the boys before they got in the water.

Peaches With Mom

2008-06-02T21:17:00.000-07:00

It's after 11 and I'm watching Mom attempt to eat a peach after she's pulled out her dentures. The kids are finally in bed. It's looking like it's going to be one hell of a summer. School is not even out yet and they're already arguing about where we need to go. Osameh is out of town and I finally get the bed to myself. At least I now have something to look forward to.

Houston feels like hell and if it sounds like I'm complaining, or whining then maybe it's because I am. I wish I could record my mom going at the poor peach with her bare gums. It's sort of yucky and cool at the same time. Her Ambien just kicked in and she looks like she's giving up on the poor peach. My sister coco (I'm calling her that because of her Internet paranoia) just informed me that I've left tracks on the world wide web. Obviously she has nothing to do but Google me. Do you think anyone else may think I'm that important?? (creditors excluded)

I have a belly dancing class with my fat friends tomorrow. I've been shimmying for five months now and I haven't lost a single pound. What I have lost is my sense of shame though. I'm not embarrassed to shake anything anymore and according to my mom (during her lectures about the vulgar state of my wardrobe), I am getting more and more daring with my choice of clothes. My daughter dives every time my hips don't lie. I'm not ready to make my You Tube premier but I think she's exaggerating. I'll take a picture tomorrow and post it.

Afif started his swim lessons today and he came out of the pool with a rash. Maybe it's the sunscreen or the sun. Just looking at his rash is making me itchy. Maybe it's contagious. Yuck! At least he is learning to swim. Everytime we head to the pool he jumps in forgetting a minor detail like not knowing how to swim but it never fazes him. Rash or not, I'll be sending him back over there to spread it to someone else tomorrow.